Our personal history often influences the way we act. Low self-esteem, defence mechanisms, or strong emotions mean we do not always make good decisions. But imagine the potential for growth and transformation if we could become leaders who aren't impulsive but supportive? This, I believe, is a lifelong journey, and one worth embarking on as early as possible.

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The biggest obstacle: fear

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Anxiety, a feeling of unease, apprehension or fear, is a common human response to the perception of a real or imagined threat. It's often associated with feelings of uncertainty or anticipation of an unpleasant event. Importantly, anxiety has an adaptive function in human life, helping us to avoid danger and to prepare for action in the face of it. This understanding can help us feel less alone in our struggles.

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“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

— “Dune”, Litany Against Fear, Frank Herbert

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Our fears influence misjudgment, impulsive action, and difficulty building sincere relationships. Fear cannot be eliminated, but it can be tamed. Could you get to know it better? I urge you to do so.

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How do you do it?

Ask yourself, what are you afraid of?

Understand where this fear comes from.

How does it influence your behaviour?

What impact does it have on relationships, for example?

Is the threat real or imagined?

Are you able and willing to change your behaviour?

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If you can tame your anxiety and regulate your emotions better, you will work better with people. Knowing your value, your goals, and your skills will help you act more balanced and calmly.

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For example, a manager who is insecure about their position may see people's mistakes as evil intentions. He then aggressively gives feedback. He says: you didn't do your best, didn't take your time, and were incompetent.

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A confident leader does not assume bad intentions and gives constructive feedback. For example, I would like to see more information in this report. What can you add to it to explore the issue further? When can you do this?

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Tools for working with emotions

There are many ways to get to know yourself and your way of doing things. Depending on how you are feeling and the issues you are facing, you can Benefit from psychotherapy, Work with a coach, Attend soft skills workshops. Educate yourself by reading books, listening to psychology podcasts, or following professionals on social media.

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Servant leadership

Are you familiar with this concept? It suggests that a leader's job is to support employees, solve their problems, and make their work easier. He or she is the one who shows the way and, when obstacles arise, tries to remove or circumvent them. Robert K. Greenleaf defined and popularized the concept in his 1970 essay 'The Servant as Leader'.

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Servant leadership focuses on the long-term well-being of both individuals and the organization as a whole. This distinguishes it from traditional leadership models, focusing primarily on results and effectiveness.

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Essential elements of this leadership model

• Serving others - a sincere desire to serve others, which means putting the needs of employees, customers, and the community on an equal footing with the needs of the organization. A servant leader focuses on meeting the needs of those they lead.
• Developing people - Servant leaders are committed to the personal and professional development of those on their teams. This approach includes mentoring, coaching, and providing resources and training opportunities.
• Community Building - This model fosters a sense of community and collaboration in the workplace. Leaders work to build strong teams that support and work together.
• Empathy - The ability to understand and empathize with the feelings of others is a critical element of servant leadership. Leaders seek to listen to and understand their people's perspectives.
• Authenticity and Integrity - High ethical standards guide servant leaders and are transparent in their actions and decisions. Authenticity and integrity build trust within the team.
• Encouraging creativity and innovation - This leadership model encourages innovation and creative thinking, allowing people to experiment and make mistakes. Everyone can contribute their unique ideas to the business.

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What do you think of this concept? This is one of many ways to be a good, supportive leader. The key is to find out who you are, who you want to be, and how you want to act. If you know your values and goals, you can remind yourself of them when difficulties arise.